Posted by: AJ the Irish Lass | April 4, 2019

Survival Tips for Dealing with Narcissists (and They Are Legion)

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Narcissists – ugghhh! It seems like they’re all around us and dealing with their drama is exhausting. I recently read an article that addressed narcissism issues amongst siblings that mirrored a lot of what I’ve dealt with involving narcissists of a non-sibling nature. (I’ve often said that only children can find enough drama of their own without sibling issues- speaking from experience).

Here are a few observations I’ve made in dealing with narcissists over  the years:

  • Framing your own narrative of your life – When you have/had a parent or other family member with narcissistic tendencies, others in your family may only want to see a “perfect” image. They may be willing to overlook the bad side of your family life or deny its presence. One coping skill I have found is to realize that only I can frame my life’s narrative, just as others can only frame theirs – others’ fantasies about what they think has happened in my life are just that -fantasies.
  • Avoiding the victim game – Narciccists derive much of their power from playing the victim, often making the objects of their abuse feel they have to appease them.  Folks, this is no way to live. I, unfortunately, learned too late that removing yourself from the narcissism games that some people play is one of the only paths to true freedom.
  • Narciccism is very much an issue where untreated emotional issues are concerned in some cases and often creates a vicious cycle that makes it hard for some in the narcissist’s life to support them in getting the help they need. Rather than seeing it as taking sides, I think all involved in such situations can benefit from seeing it as being on the side of being a helper to all.

These are just a few thoughts based on how I’ve observed narcissism in families can impact relationships. I might revisit each of these points in further depth in future posts. Stay tuned 🙂

Please note that none of this is or should be construed as medical/psychiatric advice. Those dealing with such issues should seek the help of a professional properly trained to address them.


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