AJ the Irish Lass' Ramblings

Why Emotional Infidelity Can Destroy Relationships

A discussion recently came up on a support group I’m a member of about whether male/female interactions on the Internet constitute adultery. This lead to some interesting discussion on what’s acceptable and what’s not, especially when one or both of the parties are married or partnered.

Even being a single gal, I have some thoughts on this. Simply chatting with members of the opposite sex online is not in and of itself A Bad Thing. However, it becomes A Bad Thing when boundaries aren’t drawn or respected. Allowed to get out of hand, it can destroy families. This is a situation where an ounce of prevention is worth far more than a pound of cure! Ask yourself the following:

*If one or both of the you are married or otherwise in a committed relationship, are your spouses/partners allowed to draw boundaries? If someone participating in online chat has a significant other, they owe it to their SO to allow them to speak up if they feel things are out of control. When you love another person, you respect their wishes. No one should be willing to jeopardize a serious relationship over an Internet buddy.

*Is there a great deal of secrecy involved in your chats? If it’s just a friendship, then secrecy isn’t necessary. Chatting behind closed doors is a very suspicious activity and is likely to cause trouble, even if the conversation is not of a sexual nature.

*Is your Internet buddy taking precedence over your family? If so, you need to RUN, not walk, away from your computer and get your priorities sorted out! If you’re skipping meals with your family to remain chatting, scheduling your family activities around your chat sessions, or having to remain in constant contact with your IB (including texting) while away from your computer, trouble’s brewing.

The Internet is a great place to make friends, but it’s also a good way to get so caught up in a fantasy world of sorts that you lose track of who and what matter the most. Don’t assume that just because your chat isn’t “X-rated” trouble can’t come out of it. Devoting all or most of your emotional self to another person online can isolate you from your loved ones. Can your family afford to lose you? I think not.